While we are all running around trying to create the best Valentine's Day experience for our partners, children, families, co-workers, etc., let us not forget where love starts, the relationship with ourselves. And while giving yourself a gift or a treat is a must, consider self-care as an act of self-love! Self-care can look like a mani-pedi, a massage, a walk alone in the park. Self-care also means authentically and unapologetically honoring our own needs.
1) It is important to acknowledge the things that are challenging, or we do not always want to do! Give yourself some grace and recognize that life can be hard.
2) Get better at saying “No” or replace yes with, “Let me think about it” when asked to do something you are not sure you want to do.
3) Make sure your own needs, both physical and emotional, are taken care of before you decide to take challenging interactions. There is no way you can begin to be in relationship with anyone, if you are resentful that you haven’t addressed your own needs.
4) Give up the “strong woman” illusion and honor your needs by saying what you need, aloud to your people, whether it be a nap, some time alone, a night out (virtual) with your girlfriends). People who love you want to see you happy and peaceful and don’t even understand the story you have made up!
5) Quiet your ego! This is deeply tied to the last point. Your way is not the only or best way to do whatever it is that YOU have to do. The dishes, homework, the lesson plan, etc. all can be done without your micromanaging. Eventually this quest for perfection and getting all things done, takes a toll on us, whether that be in relationships or on our physical health.
Relinquish control to others. It will all be okay!
6) Dig deep and tap into your needs on a soul level. Who am I? What do I want to do? What are my passions? Sometimes, this can be hard because we have spent years, maybe decades, helping others to answer these questions. Keep probing; you are worth knowing and the answers are there!
7) Love yourself! Love requires freedom from judgement and guilt! We are all doing our best and sometimes it does not look or feel exactly like what we imagined. Give yourself the grace and space to accept who you are today and know there is always the next moment to improve upon the perfection that is you!
Sending you all love, because you deserve it, this Valentine’s Day and every day!